Icy, Shark-Infested Waters

ALCATRAZ--Dangerous waters surround this former maximum-security penitentiary, "icy, shark-infested waters," if you believe my brochure from Fisherman's Wharf. I'm not accusing anyone of outright lies, but it's a bit of an exaggeration, if you ask me.

Not that I'd go swimming in it. It may not have ice chunks floating in it, as implied, but it's usually about 50 - 54 degrees Fahrenheit in the San Francisco Bay. You know how your fingers get when you forgot to wear gloves on a cold day? Would you like to try to swim when your whole body feels like that? Ask John Paul Scott, the only known federal prisoner to make the one-and-a-half-mile swim to San Francisco. Washed up on rocks at the Presidio, he'd had his clothes torn off him and a body temperature of 94 F when "rescued." He won a free trip to the emergency room before returning to Alcatraz.

Plus there's the little matter of currents. Approximately 40% of California's water empties into the San Francisco Bay, on the way to the ocean. When the currents are strong, to try to swim across would be like trying to swim across a fast river. You would inevitably go with the flow. And sometimes that flow would take you right out into the Pacific Ocean. Once there, you would enter the "Red Triangle," so named for having the largest number of great white shark attacks in the world.

So there may be something to that Fisherman's Wharf brochure, after all... The military prisoners who were on Alcatraz before it became a federal penitentiary sure believed it. In 1926 they began planning a massive prison break. Everyone would hit the water and start swimming. Surely some of them would make it. When Colonel Cralle heard the rumor, he gathered the prisoners on the dock and announced, "If you want to escape, go ahead and start swimming. I won't try to stop you. And I'm sure the hungry sharks will be quite pleased."

No one got in the water.

Let's look at this rationally, though. All through the 1990's the average number of great white shark attacks in a year was 54. Worldwide. Most of those attacked survived, with scars or amputations to impress their friends. If you search the Internet, you will find more than 54 fishing boats willing to take you out killing sharks any day of the year, including Captain Don's at Fisherman's Wharf. So we're way ahead, if you're counting in terms of "us vs. them."

Plus there aren't any great white sharks in the San Francisco Bay. It's technically an "estuary," meaning it's a mix of salt and fresh water, and apparently too much fresh for a great white's taste. No wonder those sea lions on Pier 39 seem content.

Not that the bay holds no sharks. There are six species, some of which grow quite large. The leopard shark is the most common. None are considered dangerous, as I know from firsthand experience, having touched a leopard shark at the Aquarium of the Bay. And I still have most of my fingers.

If that doesn't convince you to take the plunge, maybe the chance to take part in the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon, held every June, will. Hundreds of participants make the swim and go on to bicycle and run once they arrive. Of course, the organizers make sure the tide and currents are amenable, that boats go alongside and that participants are adequately trained and armed with wet suits. But strangely enough, there haven't been any shark attacks.

Anyone for a swim in icy, shark-infested waters?