Attack of da Cane Spidah

One time in Maui I go to the bathroom at night, and as I glance casually toward the door, I see this huge spider on the cabinet under the sink. It's not the biggest spider I've ever seen, but it's in a very small room and it's between me and the door... It's as big as my hand, though its body's not that huge compared to the legs. It's fast, too: scampers under the cabinet when I move. I'm freaked. When I have to go to the bathroom again in the middle of the night, I carefully reach around and turn on the light before going in. All clear. I sit down... and see the spider lurking just outside the range of light, right behind where I was standing. When I leave the room, I leave the light on, this time!

In the morning, I tell my husband. He's got a sheaf of papers rolled up to use as a fly swatter, and he picks it up to demonstrate what he'll do if he sees the big spider: "Swat it--like this!" He whips his wrist down and I scream because a large spider is flying toward me! It was hiding in that very paper roll.