Bird's-Eye View

ALCATRAZ--This time I didn't take the boat to the island; I flew. In fact, Alcatraz is where I first learned to fly, but I don't remember that. (Well? Do you remember learning to walk?) What you don't forget is how to do it. Seems like I've always known how to glide above the ocean, how to land on the rail of a boat, how to snatch people food when they aren't looking. But if I read the ring on my leg right, I'm only four years old. I say "only" because most of you people reading this are probably older. For me, though, it means I can watch my own babies learn to fly now.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First I've got to get my own territory. That'll be tough, as a newcomer. Everyone's got old claims. No one wants to give up the spot where they raised their children seven years in a row. Still, how am I to know? I haven't been back to the old breeding grounds till now, at least not this time of year, when everyone's getting possessive. You people think you're so funny, putting words in our mouths in Finding Nemo: "Mine! Mine!" Yeah, we're territorial, we're possessive, but who are you to talk, with your big private enclosed, locked nests with fences around them? You may not say "Mine! Mine!" when you get your paycheck, but who gets a piece of it besides your family? That's all I'm sayin'...

So I'll be stakin' my claim to a piece of the rock, hoping a female will like my real estate, and hoping I like a female who likes my real estate, 'cause once we've found a partner, we mate for life, Baby. Okay, there's like a 5% divorce rate, but I don't plan on becoming one of those statistics. Me and my gull, we'll be copilot forever, ya know what I'm sayin'?

Not that we'll actually fly together, because we'll have responsibilities right away. I'll go out and get some fish while she's sitting on the eggs, and she'll do the same when I'm taking a turn. We'll have our family to think about.

And we won't want you lot around. Can't help it that Alcatraz gets a lot of visitors every day, but just stay out of the nursery, will you? Is that too much to ask? I heard some lady ask a park guide if we were "taking over the place." Huh. Who was here first? I ask you. You wanna know the reason we like raising the kids on Alcatraz in spite of all the grief you give us? No fresh water. That's right. That's the whole reason. Angel Island, it has water. And that means it has predators. Raccoons would just love to bite into our eggs. At least we've got rangers sticking up for us on Alcatraz. Maybe some of you people were birds once yourselves--you believe in reincarnation? Do you ever have dream memories of soaring above blue water? See, I think I was one o' you once. I still remember your lingo. Or maybe it's all the people food I've snatched. You are what you eat. Whatever. Gotta go take care of that real estate business.